“NO” – How to Say it

In addition to all the advice, ideas and tools that I provide you with each newsletter to succeed in your business life, there is one more tool that must be added to your kit. In theory, this is a rather simple concept; but quite difficult in practice. It is the art of saying “No”. Like it or not most of us have difficulty in saying No.

You may be wondering why you need to learn this concept but believe me it will be worthwhile. Let’s start by practicing it – say it out loud, yell and scream it if you like – “NO! NO! NO!” Let’s talk about why it is so important to be able to say “No” and, more importantly, to whom we are planning to say “No”.

The first group of people we must say “No” to are the prospective clients that are not from your target market. That is, once you know exactly what your target market is, you need to concentrate all your efforts towards that group.

Do you have to do business with everyone who asks you to work with them? The answer to that question depends on a number of things. Firstly, it depends on the nature of your business. If you are running a retail outlet, the situation is quite different from running a professional services firm.

Let’s focus on professional service firms a little longer, but remember some of the principles may apply to other sectors, while others do not.

If you have clearly defined business goals, objectives and a target market then, unless prospective clients fit into that segment, you are better off letting them go elsewhere; in fact, encourage them to do so. By trying to do business with them you will be doing a disservice to your organisation. The chances are that, if these prospective clients are not from your chosen market segment you will lack the expertise and systems to help them, so you will not reach the ‘going for gold’ level of customer service that we talked about in an earlier article.

What about difficult clients – must you deal with them? Firstly you need to determine and confirm that it is the client who is the problem and not your organisation. If it is the client and he or she causes you too much stress or difficulty then saying “No” is a must, not just an option.

I recall a handful of instances where some clients, despite being good clients from a fee-paying point of view, caused a certain level of anxiety in our firm – the blood pressure of the entire office rose whenever they called. We tried everything to please them but nothing was good enough. This led to serious soul-searching. Given the high level of satisfaction among our other clients we took the decision to ‘sack’ these difficult clients. Saying “No” to them was not done in a nasty or rude manner, but by way of a polite letter stating that “We are unable to help you”. The clients moved on, as did we.

I am not encouraging arrogance towards, or a lack of appreciation of, the clients who give you business, rather I am suggesting that you need to be selective about whom you deal with, particularly in a professional environment. Choosing your clients carefully allows you to deliver the best possible service to those you are well-equipped to deal with. As a result, you will receive more referrals and be able to build your business.

One of the joys of being the boss is that you don’t have to deal with people you cannot work with effectively – after all, life is too short. As David Maister, a leading author, says, the advantage of being a successful professional is being able to say “No” to idiots.

Having acquired this skill of saying “No” to people, let’s see where else you could use it:

• ‹Saying “No” to all the telemarketing people who keep calling you and insist on trying to sell you their various products or services you have absolutely no use for. This is very important. One simple “No, thanks” can save you from having unwanted insurance, and credit cards with big limits, among other things.
• If you are the leader of an organisation, learn also to say “No” to your staff; “No” to any unreasonable demands, special favours, unrealistic salary increases, and the like. As the employer you must always treat your staff with respect and be loyal to them, but you don’t have to say “Yes” to unreasonable demands and requests. None of us are indispensable, even though at times we like to think we are.
• Saying “No” is necessary to ensure that, despite the challenges and the buzz that your business life provides, you find a balance between all aspects of your life.

Human beings are a complex lot – you must have heard people say that it is your attitude and response to situations that is important. I think that while there are events and circumstances we have no control over, there are lots of things, such as how we feel and react to events, that are totally dependent on us. Look at things and events positively and pick yourself up when you are down – say “No” to feeling down and say “Yes” to enthusiasm and going for gold – not just in your business but in all of your life.

In business life you will suffer many setbacks, difficulties and challenges, not to mention rejections and disappointments. If you treat these as learning opportunities and simply pick yourself up and go on, you will be more successful than you can imagine. Don’t let these things get you down, for every night is followed by daylight.

Remember your life is in your own hands, only you can make things happen.

The success or failure will often be the result of your efforts; so say “No” to failure and celebrate success and what it brings your way. Say “No” to:

• ‹    Feeling down
• ‹    Rejection and disappointment
• ‹    Failure – celebrate success
• ‹    Clients who do not fit your target market
• ‹    Difficult people
• ‹    Unreasonable demands from staff
• ‹    Blaming others – take responsibility for your own actions
• ‹    Overwork and too much stress
• ‹    People trying to sell you things you don’t want
• ‹    Quick fixes and solutions

Your positive attitude and approach will set you on course for success.